In Loving Memory

Obituary

Bing Fong Wong was born on October 27th, 1931 in Toisan, Guangdong Province, China. 

In 1949, he moved to Hong Kong looking for better opportunities. He worked as a mechanic for the Hong Kong Telephone Company. On March 23rd, 1964, he married Lana, who was the younger sister of his classmates. They had their first daughter, Wendy,  in Hong Kong in August of 1965. He completed a certification for Chinese cooking at Chan Ming Cooking School on May 24, 1966, but was able to immigrate with his family in June of 1966 to the United States.

He settled in Stockton, CA for some time but left to live just outside of Chinatown in LA for a brief time while commuting and working in a Chinese Restaurant in Long Beach. They ended up returning to Stockton to be close to family where he worked in various restaurants and kitchens to support his now growing family. They had a son, Norman,  in 1969 and another daughter, Wileen,  in 1970.

He became a U.S. Citizen on September 27, 1974 but was plagued by growing eye problems. By 1976, he was diagnosed with a degenerative eye disease and was declared officially blind in 1976.

In 1986, he moved back to the greater Los Angeles area. He was diagnosed with dementia in 2015. He passed away peacefully on the morning of December 31st, 2018.

He is survived by his wife, Lana,  his three children and their spouses Wendy and Tommy Tan,  Norman and Debbie Wong and Wileen and Christian Caldwell and six grandchildren: Christopher, Jared, Lauren, Collin, Emily and Caitlyn.

New Year's Eve

We planned to get together with my brother and his kids to go hiking in the Santa Monica mountain area on New Year's Eve. My sister and her oldest had even decided to join us. Although, Christian and I were still sore, we were still going to suck it up and attempt to go. The hike wasn't supposed to be too difficult. We had planned to spend the night at my brother's place and get together with my mom the next afternoon to all make steamed buns (bao) together. My brother had all of us watch Pixar's new short "Bao" and we got the recipe that the director shared from her mother and we thought it would be fun to try it out.

However, early in the morning, we got a phone call that woke us all up. My father had passed away. After his recent hospital stay, they confirmed that he had brain damage from when he choked and stopped breathing. They could not confirm how extensive the damage was. But since he had spiraled into dementia and now had some brain damage on top of that, the prognosis was not good. We all got together that weekend to go see him and possibly say goodbye. His eyes fluttered open here and there briefly but never seemed to wake up. He seemed to be in some intermittent discomfort. He was breathing on his own but they still put an oxygen tube in to help him. He had some phlegm in his throat that they would occasionally have to suction out.

After several more days with no change, we had decided that it was time to "pull the plug," so to speak. There was no hope for any real quality of life left. He was basically a vegetable. It seemed cruel to leave him trapped in his body with no real hope of recovery. Without any change in his condition, the hospital would have to put his oxygen through his trachea and put a feeding tube through a hole in his stomach since they could not leave all the tubes down his throat that he has had for some time now. It would cause other problems to leave them for too long. We did not want them to put any more holes in him to prolong his suffering. We had them remove all his tubes. They gave him some morphine to keep him comfortable. He still continued to hang on, only he seemed to lie more comfortably without all the tubes down his throat. They still offered him oxygen through a mask to help him to stay comfortable. Several more days passed with no change. My mom and sister had to then make arrangements to move him back to the nursing home that he had been staying in as they could not let him stay in the ICU. He was still going pretty strong although he never regained any more consciousness than having his eyes flutter open briefly.

The evening before he passed, the nurse noted that his breathing began to get shallow. He passed peacefully shortly after 5:am.

We decided to continue with our plans to head to my brother's house but decided to nix our hiking plans in lieu of spending time with my mother. When we arrived, we decided to just move up our plans to make the steamed dumplings with my mom for lunch as it was too cold and misty to even take her to the park.

It was nice to spend the time together with the whole family. I am relieved that we had not decided to leave town. We had tossed around the idea, but we had no idea how much time my dad had left and the weather was not very ideal to go anywhere.

We ended up heading to my sister's house that evening and we had an impromptu family dinner and rang in the new year together that evening. We were exhausted. We didn't get to bed until late and did not sleep very well.

We woke up quite late the next morning and had brunch. We tossed around the idea of taking my mom to the park still but we could not agree to a destination and was afraid a lot of facilities might be closed due to the government shutdown. At some point, we just gave up and decided we needed to head home. We stopped by to see my mom before heading out.

El Cajon Mountain Redo

After things settled down after all the holiday celebrations, we headed down to San Diego to try El Cajon Mountain again. We tried it several years ago, but we all got heat exhaustion and have always wanted to go back to finish the two pitch climb we started.

Christian's sister's family decided to join us, so we left early in the morning and met up with them at their house. We had a quick breakfast of champions...donuts. Then went to pick up our niece from school. She had practice early in the morning. All that kind of set us back about another hour. So when we finally arrived at our destination, it was already a little after 9:am.

The hike up the mountain is grueling. It is definitely a strenuous hike. The first time, it took us two hours to make this hike in the heat. This time, it took us three hours to get to the base of our climb because we are totally out of shape. The weather, however, was about as good as it gets.

We didn't get too many pictures as the group was spread apart over the trail and frankly, I was trailing the whole time and it was all I could do to keep up. And because of the rocks and brush, it was difficult to see the next group on all the switchbacks.

We had lunch at the base of our climb. Being overly tired and hungry, we probably dawdled a bit too long. Christian led the first pitch up Bright Eyes (5.6). He used double ropes. Emily was going to go up next on one, and I was supposed to go up behind her on the other. Because rope management can be difficult and we had not done this in a long time, I didn't really go up until Emily was finished. Emily had pulled up an additional rope behind her for Caitlyn to climb. We actually brought four different ropes since we had so many people. We figured that when our family got to the top, we would set up a top rope for Aron's family to work on the first pitch while we worked on the second pitch that we didn't get to do last time.

It didn't quite work out as we had hoped. When Christian, Emily and I were at the anchor, we tried to organize the ropes and devices and it became this tangled rats nest and we were losing time fast. We only had so much daylight because of the season, so we figured that we needed to start heading down by 2:30 to have enough light to get back to the truck. When they told us that it was nearly 2:pm already, we had to give up the second pitch. Christian rappelled down and lowered Emily. I stayed up at the anchor to take pictures and Caitlyn, our niece Michaela and Aron climbed up and got lowered back down. Mike and our nephew, Brandon, wasn't that enthusiastic about the climb, so they didn't bother as we were definitely out of time but we wanted to make sure that after that strenuous hike, that everyone that wanted to climb, got to climb.

Aron belayed Christian back up to the anchor to clean up and I rappelled back down.

We were in a race with the lowering of the sun. Aron tried to help Christian coil up the ropes while Emily sorted and put away the gear. By the time Christian got back down, the bulk of our group started to head back down the trail. Christian and I finished cleaning up and putting away the gear before heading down. 

I had thought going up was difficult. Going down was worse. My legs felt like jelly and my joints felt like they were ready to give out. We did not even have time to stop to rest. We just had to keep going, but you had to be careful and go down in a controlled way or you were likely to get hurt.

The bulk of our group got back to the truck with the last of the twilight to get them across the slippery log we had to traverse to get over the mucky and stinky water in the gully. We were behind them a good 10 or 15 minutes. Caitlyn was worried that we would not be able to see and came back looking for out for us with her phone light. Fortunately, Aron figured out what she was trying to do and came back with her. I was so exhausted and it was pretty dark, I would not have been able to get back across without Caitlyn's light and Aron's help.

Mike took us all out for some hard earned Mexican food afterwards. Man, a giant carne asada burrito never tasted so good or hit the mark so well. We went back to their place to rest and chat before heading back home. We had planned to spend the night and leave in the afternoon, but I think there was some communication errors, so we just came back. I was sore for 4 or 5 days afterwards!

And after all that, we still didn't get to do the second pitch of Bright Eyes!

Christmas

We finally made it to Christmas! The Christmas tree and lights have been put up. The cards have been printed and sent. The treats have been baked and delivered. All the presents are under the tree. And school is finally over...for now.

It looks like everyone got pretty good grades this semester. Although the girls' grades won't be official until some time after their break. We know Christian, at least, got excellent grades.

Marian arrived on Christmas Eve for our annual Christmas get together. Christian slow roasted our prime rib roast, courtesy of Marian, half the day. The kids washed and vacuumed out Marian's car for her.

After our feast, Marian watched the kids practice their organ a bit to see what they've been working on. Then, we came back to watch a movie together and called it a night.

We opened presents on Christmas morning.

Presents were not quite what the kids thought they would be this year. They got put on Santa Marian's  "naughty" list. Apparently, over the summer, they made a deal with Marian to do 20 hours of service for her. She gave them a bunch of stuff they wanted for it. Well, when the deadline came, they hadn't done anything. Caitlyn made a slight attempt to do something and put in 3 hours. Emily just argued that the service was supposed to be at Marian's house...not ours.

So, Marian still packed her car and the tree with tons of gifts but there was a twist to them. The candy in their stocking was expired. The presents they opened were not really for them exactly. Some of them were actually for Christian or myself. Some of it was just household goods that we can all use like toilet paper and canned goods. There were even treats included that they would not be allowed to eat.

Emily was not very amused. Caitlyn mostly took it in stride as she figured they deserved it. Luckily, Marian had left some real gifts for them back in July so they did get a couple of real gifts from her.

They also got gifts from us.

They also got presents from Grandma Cheri. Grandpa had brought them down from Oregon earlier this month.

We got a bunch of treats and she made us all new slippers. They are really warm and comfy. So, they got a good share of presents still so don't cry for them. She is going to give them another chance to get their ours in before their birthdays or who knows what will happen then!

We had our annual Belgian waffles for breakfast. Plus Caitlyn's friend dropped off some cinnamon rolls for our family last night so we had a combination of that for our breakfast. 

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We went to my brother's house for Christmas dinner to meet up with my family. Christian made us some fresh sausages and barbecued them on my brother's grill. I made dessert. My brother made us a Christmas goose. It was the first time we got to try goose. It was pretty expensive and I didn't think that it tasted that unique from duck. Also, I think my brother's oven was too hot so the goose ended up being a little tough. My mom made some sticky rice and my sister made some bbq pork and vegetables.

After dinner, the kids got some more gifts. We had dessert and took their annual Christmas pictures together. My sister's boys were so tall before. Now all the younger kids are starting to shoot up. It is funny to compare the previous years' pictures to the present.

December

The girls started off the month by going horseback riding in Norco with the young women from church.

The girls were excited to try horseback riding again. They had gone once before. Aunt Wendy had gotten them and their cousins, an afternoon of lessons a few years back.

The first time they went out, they just went around in circles in the exercise yard. This time they got to go down a simple trail. 

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Emily's soccer season started, so it has taken over most of her time. In fact, she had the Young Women leaders drop her off at the high school in Norco for a tournament game right after going horseback riding. She missed the morning game since we had already committed the girls to go horseback riding, but made it to the afternoon game.

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My dad is in the hospital again. Apparently, he chocked while eating his dinner one evening and lost consciousness from the lack of air.. They actually had to do CPR on him, but we don't know how long they took to get him breathing again. Because his heart stopped for some time, there is now brain damage. We can't tell how extensive it is, but it is pretty bad.

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A lot of our time has been spent at church Christmas parties. The girls had a Young Women in Excellence night, we had our ward Christmas party and then attended the Messiah Sing-In. 

Emily also got to play Joy To The World on the organ during the Postlude at church last weekend. That was pretty exciting...at least for us. She did really great but she was super nervous. She messed up a little at the beginning but was able to just start over and then she played three verses with different stops with no problem. 

Caitlyn is working on a song to play at the end of the month but has been struggling with a difficult part. Hopefully she will be able to get it together in time.

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Christian finally got his student teaching assignment for next year. He will be doing his first 8 weeks at a high school in Rialto. It's a bit far but hopefully it will work out okay. We hope he will be able to get his next 8 weeks in Riverside.

November

The month started out pretty shaky. The sinks in the bathrooms were clogged up with hair and stuff and the usual drano wasn't cutting it. The bathroom sinks are back to back, so they are both connected and when one sink clogs, they both get backed up. Christian took it apart to snake it and found that the pipes were just disintegrating.

When we first looked over our house to buy it, we made certain that the sinks and tubs were in good condition because the tub in the house we had rented was in terrible shape and never looked very clean even after just cleaning it. But when the previous owners of this house moved out, they made it a point of pride to clean the bathrooms before leaving. We wanted them to just leave it and leave the house. Well, she decided to clean it with some kind of acid as the kitchen sink, and the bathtub and sink in the main bathroom is now utterly ruined. The enamel is destroyed. So, we are again, dealing with sinks and tubs that don't look clean no matter how much you clean it. We were so pissed. There is nothing we can do except tear it apart and swap all of it out or paint over it...which is only temporary.

But now, to add salt to our wounds, we find that not only did the enamel get ruined, the pipes did too. We don't know how extensive the damage is. We are hoping that the worst is where it made immediate contact with the acid. Anyway, Christian ripped it all out, up to the wall. He had to grind out what was left, as part of the pipe crumbled and broke as we tried to remove it. Then we had to order a tap and die to fix the pipe or we would have to rip the walls apart to get in further to replace parts. Christian also had to order some special adhesive/gasket, to make sure it would not leak as we couldn't get the new pipe in far enough to be really confident in the joint. So, the kids were without a bathroom sink for over a week. They either had to use the kitchen sink or the sink in our bathroom, which was working again after Christian snaked the kids sink.

It was a pain in the butt, very stressful and was an unexpected expense but it is finally all back together and working fine.
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Christian had a birthday and we celebrated our twenty-first wedding anniversary, but we didn't do that much and I don't have any pictures to show for it, as Christian was sick again. He's been sick a lot, on and off since the beginning of October. Luckily, no one else in the house caught anything.
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Emily is back on her full schedule of soccer practice and games, although, the season has not actually begun. There are pre-season games and soccer tournaments still. So, they've been practicing a lot and trying to get back in shape. Much to our dismay, they even had a game and practiced during the Thanksgiving break.

Emily is on the junior varsity team again and is happy to be playing with most of her friends. So far, she is still doing fairly well in keeping up her grades but the season is about to start and the end of the semester is just around the corner now, so we will see if she gets to finish off the season or not.
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We celebrated Thanksgiving with my family, as usual. We met up at my sister's house. My sister and her immediate family had gone to visit with her in-laws before our dinner though and didn't get back until quite late. Our dinner ended up to be pretty late, so we were a bit irritated. We ended and came home even later. The kids didn't get to crawl into bed until after 1:am.
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A couple of days later, we drove back out for a big Chinese banquet. My sister's family was throwing an eightieth birthday celebration for her father-in-law and they were also celebrating their fifty-fifth wedding anniversary.

Our kids have never attended a big banquet before, so they were pretty excited to be try a traditional ten-course meal. The biggest problem was getting them to dress up for it. I only managed to get them to wear their church clothes. 

Again, the party started late. Some of the food was pretty good but a lot of it was mediocre at best. We were a bit disappointed. The worst part was, that they had music blasting in our ears almost the entire time. Not just any music, but karaoke music. Luckily, Christian brought ear plugs, which made it a little more bearable. By the end of the evening, even my head hurt from the constant noise (which they turned up louder and louder by the end of the evening). The party included significantly more than two hundred guests. As some of the people started to stream out at the end of the evening, we took the opportunity to escape as well. Of course it took us nearly half an hour to dodge and weave through the crowd and keep our group moving and left the party to the singing and dancing fools of their core group...an no, they were not the younger generations.

October

Emily went in for her annual sports physical at the beginning of the month. It was a lot less painful than last year. She has not grown since her last physical so we are pretty sure she has stopped growing. She seems to be holding steady at 5 feet 5 and 3/4 inches tall. Her weight, eyesight and hearing was good as well. She got a flu shot thrown in since it is that time of year. Caitlyn and I got ours as well, since we were there. Unfortunately, Christian was already home with flu like symptoms.
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The first quarter of school ended. Both of the girls are doing really good. They both managed to get all A's and one B. Hopefully, they can keep their momentum up. Emily is on a short leash this year with her soccer. If her grades drop or even misses assignments, she doesn't get to go. She has missed a few days of practice this month but she gets it fixed with the teacher now, whether it is her fault or theirs.
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On one of nicer days (weather wise), we walked out to the back hills to do a little climbing. The short hike back there showed that we were pretty out of shape, especially myself. Emily is working on getting back in shape with soccer and Caitlyn had to put some real effort into it with returning to PE.

I only climbed one route. Everyone else went up a couple of times before it got late. We were going to attempt to go to Joshua Tree on another weekend, but it didn't really work out as Caitlyn procrastinated and had too much work to do. Christian took Emily out to the Quarry for a bit to get a little more climbing in. 

I don't know if it is the weather or what, but Christian has been having a lot of trouble with one of his knees and I have been having problems with my back so we have not been able to do too much.

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Christian has spent a great deal of time this past month working on our vehicles. He changed the brakes on my vehicle (he had to do it several times due to some complications). He also changed the transmission fluid in my vehicle. We had not done it since we got the new transmission put in. Apparently, they cheated us on the transmission fluid as we didn't get nearly as much out as we had to put in.

He had to put in a new fuel injector in his truck. We've been having problems with the truck occasionally running rough and the fuel being to rich for a number of years now. Slowly, but surely, Christian has been able to narrow down the problem. He spent a good six months or so, building an electronic circuit to test his injectors. With his new electronic gadgets, he was able to identify the exact problem and swap out the faulty injector and it seems to be running nicer than it has in years.

It's all a never ending process though, as both of our vehicles are getting old and there is a lot of maintenance we need to keep up with.

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Emily went to Disneyland with her friends. One of her best friends took them all for their birthdays this year (including her own, I guess). She got to go out and spend the day at Disneyland with her closest friends and has not one single picture to show for it. I don't know why I expect more. I just don't understand that.

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We didn't do anything for Halloween this year. While Emily was at Disneyland, Caitlyn and I attended some Harvest Festival at church. She volunteered to help out with some of the games for the younger kids and then we stayed for the Chili cook-off and talent show. I brought an apple dessert from my canned summer apples. 

We skipped on our friends' Halloween party this year as Christian was sick with another flu and I just started having problems with my back and was in no mood to go stand around at a Halloween Party.

On Halloween night, we just stayed home. We got one group of kids trick-or-treating and that was it. I only prepare a small amount of candy these days since most of the time, no one comes by. Luckily, we had just enough to give a small handful to each of the trick-or-treaters. After the kids finished their homework, we watched a somewhat scary movie together and called it a night.