1976-2022
Mark's funeral was supposed to be in two weeks but it got moved up a week. So after Christian returned from Oregon, he went back to work for all of three days before having to take time off again to return to Oregon for the funeral. He had time to prepare for some things for his students to work on at least.
Of course, in the frantic preparation to go back, he forgot to post the assignments online and we had to pull over in Bakersfield to get some WiFi to post his assignments for his students. It took us 14 hours to get there. We arrived Thursday evening.
After breakfast Friday morning, we stopped to visit with Danielle. She wanted to give Christian a few things that she felt that Mark would want him to have...mostly stuff from his shop that Danielle had no use for and couldn't sell easily.
Afterwards, we returned to his mom's house for lunch. She had run out that morning to get some flowers. When we met back at the house, we went together to the cemetery. In making the funeral arrangements, she had found out that there was an extra cemetery plot next to her grandparents that was already paid for, so she had wanted to bury Mark with family. There is another generation of great grandparents further up above at the same cemetery. So we went to bring flowers for all their graves.
Later that afternoon, Christian had to go with his dad to the mortuary to help dress Mark. He definitely was not so excited to have to go do that but wanted to be helpful to his father. They did it together with Danielle's father and brother-in-law.
Afterwards, Christian and his dad came back for dinner. Aron and her husband was expected to arrive in the early morning hours to get a few hours sleep. The service for the funeral was set for the morning.
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There was a viewing at the stake for the family. Afterwards, they moved his body to the chapel and they had a short program. Christian's dad gave a bit of a timeline of his life. It was very nice. For some reason, Danielle had one of her sister's give a talk about Mark whom she only knew for relatively short time, which was strange. She insisted that Mark and her sister bonded over his illness and her cancer which might have been true, but it was fairly obvious that she didn't "know" Mark that well.
Danielle pretty much controlled every aspect of the funeral service. Mark's family obviously paid for the plot and gave her a big chunk of money to help her plan the rest but pretty much got no say about any aspect of it. It was completely frustrating for his family, especially his mother. Cheri had even picked out a beautiful wooden casket for him but the mortuary said that he would not fit in it the night before, so they substituted it out for a blue metal one with Danielle's authorization later.
But the worst thing about it all, was that she didn't hardly even show any emotion through it all. I think there was about 45 seconds in which she showed a slight sadness but other than that, it could have been just any church service we were attending. At the actual burial site, she and her sisters took selfies together while giggling and cracking jokes. There was no solemnity or deference for what his family was going through. It was just awful.
She did ask Christian to dedicate his grave and that was the end of that. The Relief Society hosted a luncheon for all the attendees. I think Danielle over estimated the amount of people that she expected to be there. Christian's mom was in no mood to be around any of them, much less eat and we were of the same mind when it came down to it. The three of us went directly home. Christian's dad attended along with Aron and her husband. They had something to eat and headed back on the road to Mesquite for their 12 hour drive home.
That evening, we were supposed to host Danielle's family for dinner at Cheri's house. They were having the food brought in. We all took a short nap as none of us had been getting a whole lot of rest and it was an incredibly difficult morning for us all. Terry ran some errands and stopped by to see how Cheri was doing. He told her that if she was not feeling up for it, he would tell Danielle and her family not to come over and we all jumped to grasp the opportunity for an escape. Cheri was not doing well at all. Her heart was obviously completed shattered by the experience. I think Danielle would normally be upset by the change in plans but was obviously open to the change because we would be such a downer for her reunion with her family and realized that this was the best option for all involved.
Early the next morning, we headed back home again. Cheri packed us full of food and snacks for the trip home. We picked up Terry from Danielle's house and hit the road. We got home in a record 13 hours.
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| Uncle Mark |
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| Beloved son, brother and husband |
Mark was 46 years old. Mark is survived by his family, minus his little brother Garth, who died two years ago, and his uncle (Terry's brother), who passed away last month from cancer. While he was not exactly cut down in his youth, or even health, his life
was needlessly ended by those who are supposed to be protecting and serving.